Karley Guthmiller
September 29, 2013
AP Lit
Mr. Lavender
Transcendentalist
Essay 2013 (rough draft)
A
wise man named Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “Most
persons do not see the sun. At least they have a very superficial seeing. The
sun illuminates only the eye of the man, but shines into the eye and the heart
of the child. The lover of nature is he whose inward and outward senses are
still truly adjusted to each other; who has retained the spirit of infancy even
into the era of manhood. His intercourse with heaven and earth, becomes part of
his daily food. In the presence of nature, a wild delight runs through the man,
in spite of real sorrows. Nature says, — he is my creature, and maugre all his
impertinent griefs, he shall be glad with me.” To me nature is an aspect of life worth living
for; it speaks out to me in a way where I understand it and look at its point
of view. It sends emotions of adrenalin and compassion racing through my mind
and body when steeping in to it. Nature is able to factor out reality so I can
walk into the light and enjoy its presence as I disregard society and the
technology and stress that comes with it.
There
are many ways nature can affect someone. For me nature just keeps climbing and
surprising me every chance I get from the smallest cricket chirping to a white
blizzard. Nature can be as simple as walking outside and feeling the brisk wind
brush up against your face and fly through your hair to hiking a fourteen
thousand foot mountain. Now I admit I do not appreciate nature as much as I
should or like to, but to be blunt, I just do not have time to. If I could, I
would spend every minute outside enjoying God’s magnificent creations.
I
enjoy nature through snowmobiling, hiking, running, hunting, four wheeling,
wakeboarding and even just an occasional walk with my dog. There are so many
ways one can enjoy nature. My all time favorite way is hunting. There are so
many critical details you notice when you are up in the mountains from scouting
out your prey to pulling the trigger at the right time and place. Emerson says,
“To go into solitude, a man needs to retire as much from his chamber as from
society.” Nature is my chamber I retire to when
I need to escape the wrath of society. .To enjoy nature, you must enjoy it as
if it was the last thing on Earth.
When
I wake up in the morning and stare at the pitch black morning sky, I think to
myself, how spectacular this experience is. Many people don’t get to have those
kinds of Kodak moments because they are too wrapped up in society and its
problems. Nature has endless beauties like the mountains, animals, trees, skies
and so many more.
As
I start climbing up the mountain, I use light made by man himself to help guide
me into the darkness. Then later when the sunrise comes, the lights go off and
nature starts to speak to me. While climbing up the steep slope, I start to see
nature at its finest. I see the small pebbles on the ground all clumped
together, the huge boulders on the sides of the mountains, the trees waving hi,
the wind whipping at my face and of course I hear animals greeting one another.
There’s
a saying that goes, you don’t appreciate what you have until it’s gone. This is
perfect for nature, because it’s the cold hard truth. Right now the beetle kill
is terrible and now people are trying to save the trees, before man y people
thought they were just trees, but not anymore. Nature is a part of everyone
whether they know it or not. It takes something
special for us to realize what’s in front of our eyes; in this case it’s the
wonders nature has to offer. Nature can be outside your house, in the forest
and even by the ocean. Nature is something that wants to be heard and is
ignored too often.
Nature
can be described as more than just trees, rocks, mountains, grass and dirt. When
I’m out hunting I can look over my shoulder and see the outlining of my tracks
in the snow. When I get to different terrain, I can feel the crunching of the
leaves up underneath my boots screaming let me out. I can feel the trees
brushing up against my back saying, ouch, don’t touch me. When the sun becomes
brighter, I can see the Irish green, goddess gold, blazing orange and stop sign
red leaves frolicking around in every which direction as if they were slaves
that had just been freed.
As I look around,
I cannot see, but I can hear the river roaring like a lion as if it was
defending pride rock. If I stay still and quiet as a mouse I can use my hawk
eyes to scope out elk or deer. (TO BE CONTINUED…)
Interesting perspective Karley. I like that you introduce with a quote by Emerson, but I think quote is a little too long. I think you would better captivate the reader by shorting the quote and refining it to 2-3 lines rather than the whole paragraph. Also in your last paragraph or so you did an excellent job of describing the colors. I'm intrigued to see how you will finish out your story by tying in your own personal experience with the deeper underlining thoughts of your essay.
ReplyDelete-Maybe a little better transition between quote and your idea- like rephrase what Emerson was saying and say how you agree with it, or disagree
ReplyDelete-I like the last sentence of the first paragraph
-3rd paragraph ☺ I had similar ideas
-Your 4th paragraph is kind of just a mix of idea, they are all really good ones, but maybe just make one idea and go from there… also its an odd transition for paragraph 3
- are you talking about when your hunting in paragraph 5, if so I think its good, just maybe make it more clear?
-Paragraph 6 is really really good!!!
-Good transition from paragraph 6-7 ☺
Yeah so overall I think this is really good! Maybe just make a few spots more clear as to what your talking about, but other than that I loved it!
-Maybe a little better transition between quote and your idea- like rephrase what Emerson was saying and say how you agree with it, or disagree
ReplyDelete-I like the last sentence of the first paragraph
-3rd paragraph ☺ I had similar ideas
-Your 4th paragraph is kind of just a mix of idea, they are all really good ones, but maybe just make one idea and go from there… also its an odd transition for paragraph 3
- are you talking about when your hunting in paragraph 5, if so I think its good, just maybe make it more clear?
-Paragraph 6 is really really good!!!
-Good transition from paragraph 6-7 ☺
Yeah so overall I think this is really good! Maybe just make a few spots more clear as to what your talking about, but other than that I loved it!
-Maybe a little better transition between quote and your idea- like rephrase what Emerson was saying and say how you agree with it, or disagree
ReplyDelete-I like the last sentence of the first paragraph
-3rd paragraph ☺ I had similar ideas
-Your 4th paragraph is kind of just a mix of idea, they are all really good ones, but maybe just make one idea and go from there… also its an odd transition for paragraph 3
- are you talking about when your hunting in paragraph 5, if so I think its good, just maybe make it more clear?
-Paragraph 6 is really really good!!!
-Good transition from paragraph 6-7 ☺
Yeah so overall I think this is really good! Maybe just make a few spots more clear as to what your talking about, but other than that I loved it!
I like how you took quotes from Emerson and broke them down by applying them to your life and general modern views on nature. I also thought he personification you used for nature later in the essay was good and descriptive. On a more constructive note, in my opinion you should be a little more concise. The paper also ends abruptly. I think coming back from all the description and personal experience and relating back to Emerson at the end would be good. Overall this was a very descriptive and interesting paper.
ReplyDelete"From the smallest cricket chirping to a white blizzard"--Lots of great lines here, Karley; and I'm looking forward to reading and responding (more thoughtfully) to the draft you turn in on Friday!
ReplyDelete--Mr. L.